A Lullaby
by xXxrisenangelxXx
Summary: Better Summary Inside! Edward POV! Please R&R!


1**Risen Angel: Hey guys, um I'm gonna try to write my first Twilight fan-fiction. It's from Edward's POV and it's a song-fic. The song is 'Lullaby' by **_**The Mitch Hansen Band**_**. Please, before you say that Twilight sucks in your comment (if you do), know that I do like Twilight and defend it with my dying breath. Thanks and please R&R.**

**Disclaimer: I take no credit to the Twilight characters or book, that belongs to Stephanie Meyer. 'Lullaby' belongs to **_**The Mitch Hansen Band**_**(and yes, it is a Twilight Band).**

**- - E - - **

How could I do this, after so many years of ignoring the lustrous scent of human blood, she shows up and completely ruins my resolve for human blood. I know it isn't her fault, but her scent could possible kill me if I don't feed soon. Sitting so close to her was dangerous. All those thoughts of trying to get away with drinking her blood, and then escaping, now those thoughts seem pointless. They seem incredibly pointless, especially now that I think about it and remember that I couldn't read her thoughts. It puzzled me to a point I thought I was going to go into a frenzy.

I didn't want to tell Carlisle anything, the only other person in our coven that might know about what I plan to do, even though it will risk us moving, is Alice. I have know idea how she could be so annoying. But she is my sister, I know enough to know that all siblings, even though most of us don't deserve the kindness from Carlisle and Esme, are annoying.

They both put up with so much, I can't risk to make them move, not again. We've been here for three years, soon to be four. It won't take long for someone to realize that we haven't been aging, period. I won't risk it.

It also didn't help that I hadn't fed in probably two weeks, so my eyes were black, which probably scared her beyond her wits. But what could probably end up being the largest mistake on my part, would be trying to befriend her. That single act might blow up in my face, but I'll be more than willing to pay the consequences.

But then as I think about it, what would she be like as a vampire? With me not being able to read her thoughts, she could be a gifted vampire, probably blocking out all mental attacks. At least it would seem like that. I'm going to have to ask Alice, and maybe Jasper, if they could help me.

Bella, I think her name is that, I'm pretty sure it's that. I've heard her correct everyone when they called her Isabella. You would think that when someone who smelled so good, even though I knew she was off limits, it would give you the hint to back off! I'll go hunting with Emmett, he's a good hunting partner, especially when we both need to feed and we're going for the biggest and most refreshing bear. I wouldn't imagine Emmett agreeing with me in testing my question, in fact I'm positive he would pummel me. I wouldn't put it past him, this is probably the stupidest thing I'm ever going to do. Especially when I might be putting a mortal in danger, by just being involved with her.

But what if I get too involved with her? I can't let things get out of hand. I won't. I'm just befriending her, what could possibly go wrong? I could ask Alice that, but then things could get extremely annoying, especially when she starts to figure things out. She's smart that Alice, but I'm starting to think that she's too smart for her own good.

'_Being made of stone_

_Will make you strong_'

I can't believe she figured it out! I haven't told her anything, but then again just today I save her from being crushed to death. I did more damage to the van than the van would've cause her. Bella just ended up with a few scrapes and bruises, but the fall from when I pulled her down caused her to bleed from the back of her head.

Why did she have to have the most delicious blood ever? It took almost all my power to stop myself from drinking her then, sucking her dry even. But I'm also thinking that she might of figured out that I'm a vampire before my scene. I just helped her make her decision, more than likely.

No one except maybe Jasper would ever know my feelings then and there, but if they started to notice how often I've been feeding, and me making sure no one starts to notice my eyes, then the rest of my family will put things together.

Things will get incredibly difficult when we get to biology. She's going to ask questions. Questions that she is going to want answered. None of my family, not even Alice, has come up to me asking if I was alright. I made sure the whole day that I paid attention to my families thoughts, just to make sure. I have to be more careful.

I could've just let the van hit her! I could've! But no, I didn't. Why me, of all people? Why me to finally find a scent to kill for and I won't take it? But is it so bad to resist this scent and force myself to not drink it, to train myself to not want it? The answer to that question should come soon, but what is going to be terrible is when Bella get's too attached. It's going to be extremely difficult to leave Forks when I'm going to be leaving behind the most wonderful scent.

'_I've been alone _

_For oh so long'_

I'm getting too attached to her. Alice is catching on, but Esme caught on first, which was one thing that I did not expect. She went hunting with me once and noticed how readily I've been drinking. I knew someone was going to catch on, but I figured that Jasper or Alice were going to be the ones to figure it out first.

Esme told me that she just put it together, like doing a puzzle. 'You just have to put the pieces together' Now that I think about it, maybe Bella did the same things. Someone could've told her an old story, or the Quilettes, I know her father is best friends with the Chieftain of that tribe, might of told her their history. She also might of searched on the internet about vampires. For some reason the youth of today find vampires to be a hot topic. I don't understand why either.

I should probably stop spying on Bella too, but I need to figure out why I can't hear her thoughts. Just thinking about it makes me go insane. I want to ask Carlisle about it, but then everyone would know what has been going on with me.

Esme thinks I'm falling in love, but the more I think about it I'm calling it curiosity. I'm pushing my limits, way beyond what I've been able to do in the past. I risk going into a frenzy everyday I'm around her, mainly because she is prone to danger. Just her handling a knife, a dull knife even, scares me. She's bound to cut herself using that!

'_And there you were_

_Silent mind'_

I need to stop this. But just being around her makes me feel so much more complete. Maybe it's because I'm realizing that Esme is right, that I might actually be in love. But the only problem with my life is that she's mortal and I'm immortal.

I want this to last. I want her to know that I love her, but right now I'm going through what every man who just realized that they're in love, is going through. I have absolutely no idea how she will take it, but I might just have to tell her. My whole family knows, and what probably sucks for Bella, is that the whole school knows that we are sort of going out.

I know what everyone thinks, and though about me, they thought I was too stuck up for them, and now. . . Oh this is really funny too, they think that Bella was more stuck up than me. They also think that I decided to go out with her because we were both stuck up.

Not likely I can assure you of that.

But what really gets me, is how such a normal girl, who if she noticed Mike and that one kid, I forgot his name, that's not normal either, she could have either of them if she only asked. I'm very sure that either of them would be ecstatic to go out with her.

How the teenage mind works confuses me? You would think that after all these years of being seventeen, I would figure out that one question. I doubt I ever will. My birth mother always said that I was extremely mature for my age. I'm probably beyond mature now. I know men who are older than me, by looks I mean, that claim they are completely mature, I read their thoughts and fight the urge to laugh in their face. Most of them still have the mind of a teenager.

But I should really stop visiting Bella every night. My family knows where I go, they have a problem with me hanging out with a mortal, but they also know that she somewhat completes me.

'_Beauty that I thought_

_I'd never find'_

I did stop visiting her for a while, but the only way I could get away with an evening without Bella, was by playing the piano. I eventually started to write down a lullaby. The more I played it and remember it, the more I realized that it reminded me of Bella.

Am I that alone to actually write a lullaby for someone who I can't have?

I honestly don't want that to be answered, I'm scared of what the answer might be.

From my standpoint I can only guess what Bella is going through. I'm icy and hard as a rock when she touches me. While when I touch her, I feel a wonderful heartbeat, the blood pulsing through her veins, and when she gets embarrassed her skin heats up and her face turns a bright red, while her heart rate speeds up dramatically.

I want her to be a part of my life. Even if it means doing something I thought I would never do again. Sure, once upon a time I drank human blood, but that was because I thought I could make a difference if I got rid of the scum of the world. I realized that things would only get worse if I continued what I was doing, and searched out Carlisle, he is my father, in a sense.

I guess I should say that Carlisle is my father because he created me, giving me a second chance at life, and now I can never fail, man sometimes I wish I actually could die. It would make me feel human again. But I'll never be human, not until someone actually figures out a way to change yourself back to human, but I really doubt it. It's impossible. I would've found a way to do it if it was, but I know it's impossible.

The only other thing I can really do while I'm not at Bella's is to read, not that there is much I haven't read, or maybe listen to music. Music is nice, especially when I can have it on mute and still be able to hear everything. I would miss the hearing, but most of all the scent, being able to smell things from miles away.

'_Something strange is happening_

_And I don't know what to do_

_I haven't felt my heart beat_

_In over ninety years'_

Alice has become practically best friends with Bella. I have no idea why, but Alice is Alice. She dances to her own beat. But what is incredibly weird, ever for alice, is that once Bella and I got back from the meadow, she's miss happy all of a sudden. Alice is always happy, but she was holding back before, like she was making sure I wouldn't do something stupid. I don't know why.

Back in the meadow I was scared to come out of the shadows, it was a sunny day that that and it was unusual, even for Forks. Of all days for me to take her to the meadow and it's sunny! I know that because my skin is so pale and as hard as a rock, that of all things, I sparkle, like a diamond.

When I did walk out her face was in awe, like she was seeing the best diamond ever. I love seeing her face like that, then when she realizes that she has been staring, she blushes that bright red and smiles sheepishly.

But afterwards while we just laid there, I noticed that it was looking like rain. When I told her we had to go, I thought she was going to cry. I promised her that we could come back, on the next sunny day, that way she can stare all she wants. I didn't actually say that, but I did think it. I knew that she was staring. I was staring right back at her.

When I took her back to Charlie's, she was reluctant to get out. I knew she wanted to stay with me. I told her in a small whisper that 'I would come by again tonight, after Charlie was out'.

I haven't been over in a long while. It gives me a chance to make sure she stays safe. I don't know why I want to protect her, but there is a feeling deep down inside me that says that I should. In the ninety years of life that I have lived, I know that a gut feeling is usually right. I have yet to find a reason not to trust my gut.

'_I love the way you look at me_

_When your thinking no one else can see_

_I feel like someone different_

_When you're near_

_So sleep now_

_And hold me tight_

_Everything will be alright_

_Just lay down and rest your weary eyes'_

No! I can't beleive how stupid I was to let her go! Why did Bella have to be so stubborn. Of all times for her to do something stupid, that will get her killed, if I'm not fast enough, and I let her go with Alice and Jasper. I trust Alice and Jasper like my life depended on it, but sometimes they forget what they were doing. Alice spaces out so much, especially when so many things can change at the wink of an eye. With Jasper things are different, when there are so many emotions going on at the same time he gets distracted.

I want to get to Arizona faster, I need to. Going after Victoria was a hoax. James needs to go down and I intend to do it. I know that Emmett, Carlisle and Alice are unhappy with my choice, but Alice is probably the worst. She's furious at me for not trusting her, but I should've kept Bella under my watch.

I should've gotten Bells out of there as soon as I got scent of those vile vampires. They all drink human blood, just staring at their blood red eyes was proof enough. But James made it clear that he did, by calling Bella a snack.

A snack!

I know I growled, I intended to. I growled deep from within, the venom on my fangs started to drip, the taste of my own venom was a new taste, but when Jasper snapped a look at me I knew he was feeling every emotion, making it that much harder for him. As I read James' thoughts all I heard was: 'Kill them. Drink her.'

I felt the strong pulls on my emotions when Jasper tried to calm me down. When James made the move for Bella, Emmett was on top of him in a tenth of a second. I snatched Bella and took her back to the Jeep, buckling her up and taking her back to the house. She even asked me if this was the danger that I was trying to protect her from. I didn't want to answer the question, not that one. Only because the answer was yes. But James is only a small matter compared to other vampires. Stronger and much older vampires.

I need to run fater. I need to protect Bella. My Bella.

'_Calm down_

_Your safe with me_

_I love you more than you can see_

_You need your rest and so I wrote you this_

_Lullaby'_

I have never been so happy before in my life. To see Bella breathing, smiling at me, even with her in a hospital bed. I'm happy that she's alive.

Hearing what my family did to James, that was the best part. I would've loved to burn James down to ashes. To see and hear his face scream. But I needed to get Bella out of there. Carlisle was ready to get her to the nearest hospital and the sooner she was there, the sooner we could go back to Forks.

The best thing I could do for Bella, without hurting her in some way, was to just sit there, like a devoted boyfriend. Her parents were there shortly after me. While her mother was in the room I tried so hard not to laugh. Renee talked a lot while I looked like I was sleeping. Bella saw me force my laugh back and she tried to stay focused on Renee.

Through all of Renee's rambling, I believe that she is right. She knows what Bella thinks, and what she was thinking the entire time. I wish I could know what Bella was thinking all the time, maybe if I get to know her more I'll be able to figure out how she thinks. That would be extremely nice.

Bella has so many scars that I don't think she remembers where most of them had come from. The one on her arm however, she will remember forever. The crescent shaped scar will always be there, and will always be colder than her normal body temperature. It was also a scar that I had caused.

'_Could someone who_

_Has a soul_

_Has such a hard time_

_Staying in control'_

Bella was so beautiful. The gown Alice had put her in did her justice, but the shoes made it more difficult for her to walk. That was fine with me, it gave me a reason to practically carry her the entire time.

Hearing the thoughts of every male in the school was hilarious, all those thoughts were immature, but it made me remember that Bella is mine, and no one will take her from me. Being able to dance with her, broken leg and all, was just as wonderful. We just danced, with me leading, but just dancing. It didn't even matter what the beat of the music was, we didn't car.

It was just us.

One thing that I was certain of however, was that I am in love.

'_Eternity_

_Can wait awhile_

_I'll miss the way_

_You blush, when you smile'_

Why do things always have to be so complicated?

That is probably the most complex question anyone can ever ask. I know it was just an accident that Bella cut herself, but the way Jasper and everyone else reacted, scared me beyond belief. The only one in control, besides me, and I was barely in control, was Carlisle. He stopped everything, being able to help with the situation, but mostly protecting Bella.

I couldn't take the fact that Bella was in danger all the time. It was so painful to be there, but I needed to protect Bella, even from me.

I know the only was to save Bella was to either leave her and never return, or to change her into one of us. Neither one was a safe way. But the best way, was to leave.

I hated to see Bella the way she was when I told her my story. It was hard to lie to her. When I said, 'It will be as if I never existed,' I ran. I knew that if I looked back and tried to leave, I would never leave.

It was the only way to save Bella.

'_Something strange is happening_

_And I don't know what to do_

_I haven't felt my heart beat_

_In over ninety years'_

Running away from what I love is painful. Far more painful than anyone would ever expect.

I feel like an empty shell.

A large, empty shell with no reason to live.

The only reason I'm still alive, is because Bella is still alive.

The past months have been torture.

I want my Bella.

'_I love the way you look at me_

_When your thinking no one else can see_

_I feel like someone different_

_When you're near_

_So sleep now_

_And hold me tight_

_Everything will be alright_

_Just lay down and rest your weary eyes_

She can't escape me forever. Victoria will die. I'll make sure of it.

I've found a new reason to be living, until I find out when Bella dies.

Victoria.

That one vampire has been my life. I intend to make sure that she burns in pyre. She is one thing that is making Bella's life unsafe.

How I ended up in Southern Africa is a mystery to me. I'm trying to hunt her. Like an animal. But it's difficult. She keeps crossing paths. I have no idea how hunting dogs will get a scent and stay on the right path. It's so confusing.

'_Calm down_

_Your safe with me_

_I love you more than you can see_

_You need your rest and so I wrote you this_

_Lullaby'_

Bella's dead

There is no reason for me to stay alive.

I'm in Italy now.

There are crowds of people celebrating.

What it is? I have no idea.

I just know that this is the best time to show everyone here that I'm a vampire.

No one can stop me.

So why of all times do I hear Bella's voice?

I want the pain to stop.

Now I'm seeing her.

I can't take this much longer.

The illusion smells like Bella. It looks like Bella. Now that it's kissing me, I'm starting to think that this is Bella.

'_Something strange is happening_

_And I don't know what to do_

_I haven't felt my heart beat_

_In over ninety years'_

Bella's still alive. And now we're in Forks again, enjoying the rest of our senior year. The Volturi, oddly enough gave us time.

Since Bella knows so much they want her to become a vampire. Now my dream and nightmare are soon to happen. I'm being reasonable this time. Making sure that once Bella is immortal, she won't regret it and she'll have someone with her. I'm asking her to marry me. I want her to say yes.

But our main concern is Victoria. She's creating an army of newborns. This cannot end well.

'_I love the way you look at me_

_When your thinking now one else can see_

_I feel like someone different _

_When your near_

_So sleep now_

_And hold me tight_

_Everything will be alright_

_Just lay down and rest your weary eyes'_

The fight is over. We've won. I'm gald the treaty is still intact. But now one thing is standing in our way.

The treaty.

Bella wants to be a vampire. But the treaty says that we aren't to change anyone. We need permission by the rightful Alpha. I hope Jacob decides what he wants soon.

The only good coming out of this is that Bella agreed to marry me. Now to work out some kinks and make a few more deals. I don't think I have much left to worry about.

Besides Bella becoming one of us.

'_Calm down_

_Your safe with me_

_I love you more than you can see_

_You need your rest and so I wrote you this_

_Lullaby'_

**THE END**

**Risen Angel: Well there you have it. I couldn't fit in Breaking Dawn, but that's okay. If others haven't read it that means no spoilers. And if no one has read any of the Twilight books, I feel sympathy towards you, but there are spoilers galore if you've only read Twilight and none of the others. Remember: Read and Review!! PLEASE!!**


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